During the recent orientation in my son’s school, there was a video presentation of a TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) talk. These are short videos that feature various people from a broad range of professions delivering inspirational or highly informative talks.

 

Sometimes you will recognize the speaker as a high-profile figure, such as the time when supermodel Cameron Russell spoke about the superficiality of images and encouraged young women to look beyond the images they see on magazine pages.

 

Once I caught a presentation of writer-philosopher Alain de Botton and finally had the chance to match a face to the famous name. Other times I have attentively listened to someone whose name is unfamiliar.

 

Such was the case with the TED talk video of Angela Duckworth, who was 27 years old when she switched careers from advertising to education. She took on the job of teaching mathematics to seventh graders in a public school in New York City.

 

It did not take long before Duckworth noticed there was something more than intelligence, as measured by traditional tools such as IQ, that was dictating the success, or failure, of her students.

 

It was grit.

 

She observed how it was not necessarily the students with the highest IQ and the obviously intelligent children who automatically excelled. Neither did those who seemed to be challenged by the lessons fare badly in their tests. Rather, the predictor of success seemed to lie in how “gritty” a child was—grit being defined as “passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.”

 

She also referred to grit as not unlike “stamina” and treated life as “a marathon, not a sprint.”

 

Eventually, Duckworth pursued her master’s degree and focused on the science of grit and developing it in children.

 

The video ends with an admission that there is no foolproof method to develop grit or motivate it in children. She has since received a $650,000 MacArthur fellowship to fund her research.

 

I have previously written about grit as one of the characteristics of successful people, based on the book “How Children Succeed” by Paul Tough. Hearing it again discussed in detail by Duckworth, and being encouraged by my son’s school principal and president that it is a characteristic worth developing in children, made me take a second look at the idea of being gritty.

 

It appears that grit has become a byword as the new measure of success. After intelligence measured by IQ, came EQ and its marshmallow and other similar tests. And now there is grit.

 

The problem with it, though, is that, unlike intelligence, there is no actual test to measure grit. It is an intangible concept that is subject to change with each person and his/her circumstances. And unlike subjects, there are no books or courses we can encourage our children to read or take in order to master it.

 

The work of developing grit in our kids is limited by the absence of resources due to its elusive nature.

 

However, according to Margaret Perlis, a contributor to Forbes magazine, there are some key characteristics that gritty people have.

 

For parents who are curious on ways that we can somehow develop this supposed key characteristic of success, here are some things to instill in children to help lay the foundations of grit.

 

Courage

 

Not surprisingly, having courage or “the ability to manage fear of failure” is indicative of grit. Throughout history, the most successful people are those who dared to step out of their comfort zone, to go against the tide, and stand up for what they believed in, despite how loudly they were told they would fail. Think of those who sailed to the ends of the horizon when they were told the world was flat and they would fall off the edge. But, lo and behold, despite the fear of failure or, in this case, of literally falling off the face of the planet, explorers like Christopher Columbus sailed on and, in doing so, discovered a whole new world.

 

Now the question is, as parents, what are we doing to teach our children about courage? Perlis points out, as Tough does in his own book, that many parents today are so bent on protecting children from failure and heartache that they inadvertently prevent them from learning life’s key lessons that can come only from firsthand exposure to challenges.

 

Conscientiousness

 

There is something to be said about the adage, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” All that courage will be for naught if there is no hard work and commitment to do things properly.

 

But how should things be done? At first glance, conscientiousness seems to mean nothing more than doing something properly, meticulously and intentionally. But upon further inspection, we find that there are two approaches.

 

There are those who take on a task with the intention of doing whatever it takes to get the job done. Then there are those whom you can rely on to follow instructions and do things properly, but no more than what they are asked of.

 

When we talk about grit, this kind of conscientiousness is not enough.

 

As Perlis says, “In other words, in the context of conscientiousness, grit and success, it is important to commit to go for the gold rather than just show up for practice.”

 

Long-term goals

 

How many talented people never seem to reach their full potential?

 

But if we look closely, talent doesn’t always have anything to do with how people achieve success. Rather, it has something to do with endurance and perseverance.

 

According to “How Children Succeed,” one needs 10,000 hours to master anything. That’s about 20 hours a week for 10 years.

 

Not all of us need to be chess wizards or tennis masters, but at least we know that there are truly no shortcuts to greatness.

 

And whether they put in 10,000 hours to a specific goal or ambition, our children need to follow through on their plans if they want to get anywhere.

But, as Perlis reminds us, when putting in the hours, make sure there is clear purpose to your work.

 

Resilience

 

There is a lot that can be said about resilience but it basically boils down to getting up and trying again whenever you fall. The nice thing about resilience is that it can be broken down into three vital components.

 

The first is optimism or having a perspective that everything will get better and you will ultimately achieve your goal.

 

The second is confidence. It takes a lot to be able to face the world once again after it has pushed you down and, for this, a certain amount of confidence is needed.

 

The third is creativity. There’s no point in getting up every time you fail if you never learn from your failure or make something out of it.

 

Put together, you have the recipe for resilience.

 

I can’t help but remember the lead character from the movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” who always cheerfully reminds the others: “Everything will be all right in the end and, if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.”

 

Just like him, gritty people believe they will get past whatever obstacles are in their way today; and I believe this hopeful optimism is perhaps what gives them the strength to carry on.

 

Excellence, not perfection

 

When we speak of excellence, we talk about a way of doing things, a standard or level of energy that we apply and expect in everyday life. In contrast, perfection “is someone else’s perception of an ideal, and pursuing it is like chasing a hallucination,” says Perlis.

 

Gritty people are a confident and optimistic bunch, but they are also realistic and do not force themselves to attain that which is unattainable and, in the process, achieve success.

 

There is still much to be learned about the science of grit. We need a better understanding of what motivates children. So, what are we waiting for? As Duckworth says, “It’s time to get gritty about grit!”