Dear Emily,

My husband of 11 years left me because I allowed my daughter to have a blood transfusion after she contracted dengue. My husband is a devout Jehovah’s Witness and his religion believes that having a blood transfusion is a sin against God. I can’t believe how selfish he is. Our daughter’s life was at stake and she needed blood! He said this procedure would make Jehovah angry. He said he was willing to sacrifice our daughter’s life to please God. Without his permission, I donated my own blood for my daughter.

Since I have broken this rule, my husband dumped me. It’s heartbreaking that my husband put his religion first. He even warned that our daughter and I would be punished for what I’ve done. It’s been seven months since my husband left us. I am now a solo parent. My husband even refuses to give financial support because he said he didn’t want to support a disobedient wife and daughter. Even my church has disowned me. My daughter and I are not allowed to attend services at Kingdom Hall anymore. Our fellow Jehovah Witnesses friends won’t even help me or talk to me. But I’m still lucky I have my family to back me up.

Am I a bad Christian? Does God still love me?

ABANDONED WIFE

The paradigms of most religions are carved in stone and therefore immutable. But you’ve come for advice from the most permissive, tolerant person I know, which may be counterproductive to your needs.

So you feel sad and bad that you’re being ignored in your adopted religion. You’re haunted by the thought that you’ve become a bad Christian and you’re asking if even God still loves you?

First, it’s good that you’re culling your circle of so-called friends who are passing judgment on you. When did they become God’s confidantes to have entered the inner sanctum of His thoughts and act as His mouthpieces?

Second, how do you define being a bad Christian? Bad, as in being cruel and mean to those who have less in life? Or bad as in doing something to save a dying child? Third, this doubting of God’s love for you—did you get this info directly from Him? If not, go back to the first point above.

You were acting viscerally, from your heart, from your instinct of being a mother who’d rather give up her own life for her child than allow this precious being to suffer or die. You’d move mountains if you should, drink poison if needed, steal and kill even, just to save her life. What beast with any semblance of humanity can argue with that?

From what I believe about God (that is, if we’re referring to the same God), He is the most understanding, munificent, magnificent being who gave you that indestructible courage to do what you just did— fighting all odds to save your child.

Any punishment meted out will be between you and your Creator. Don’t worry about it. You’re good.

E-mail [email protected] or [email protected]