Dear Emily,

In this age of pandemic, my problem may be too insignificant. But it is at the back of my mind, which at least makes it important to me.

I am happily married with three children, all professionals. Three years ago I happened to be online on Facebook when a notification popped out that my husband is now friends with his ex.

This ex was the reason I met my husband, who was my officemate then. She worked in another company but would pick up this guy she was dating at my office. I was not even friendly with the guy when, one day, she called me on the phone to tell me she had broken up with the guy because he had fallen in love with an officemate of his. She left for abroad soon after. I didn’t realize I was the girl the guy had fallen in love with.

Long story short, the guy and I married and soon had a family. Since we married, we had been having fights because he found me too strict with him and his friends. It seems they never grew up, and just wanted to have fun. But when he changed and took life seriously, our marriage got better.

After seeing him and his ex becoming friends on Facebook, I, too, wanted to be friends with her. But to my surprise, she blocked me. When I told my husband this, he too was amazed, and just said that the ex doesn’t post anything interesting anyway, just selfies and recipes.

I heard she is married with two grown kids. Still, why should she block me? Is there something she has in mind?

—Blocked

We will never know what goes on inside people’s minds.

This woman who dated your husband in their youth was dropped when he laid eyes on you. He made sure he’d marry you eventually.

The ex-girlfriend may not even have been aware you were the woman who stole her boyfriend’s heart. She now has grown kids like you and must have just been reminiscing about those long-gone days. Social media made it easy to reconnect with him. Blocking you may not even mean anything to her. She probably can’t remember who you are and why you’re connecting with her.

Don’t put too much drama or mystery to it. Your husband left her and chose you. You’ve had a happy marriage with him, and it has given you beautiful children. The ex went on to have her own life abroad. Sometimes, people are just lonely and want to spice up their humdrum lives by reliving memories that made them feel good. Boredom has a way of drawing back the curtains the years have already obliterated.

Continue enjoying your husband, despite this benign reconnection with his ex. Just remember, he asked you to marry him. He left her.

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