Dear Emily,
At 30, I am facing a crossroad with two options offering equally tempting opportunities.
I work here in Manila, but my husband is based in the province. We get to see each other only on weekends. It is not surprising that after three years of marriage, we’re still childless.
My work here in Manila offered my family financial security and some worthy comforts. I was able to pay off my mom’s accumulated debts made due to her determination to send us to private schools. My work has also offered me that wonderful opportunity to travel locally and countries abroad these last two years.
However, in spite of these opportunities, I am still actively applying for a job in my company’s branch in the province so I can be with my husband and still be employed by them. I just got an e-mail last week saying that my application was already approved—but with a catch—my position will be demoted four positions below and my salary will be reduced by more than half. The job I got approved for is also not exactly related to my education and experience. The only upside is the benefits will stay the same. In a way, my husband is already financially stable as his family owns a big profitable livestock farm which he co-owns and manages.
Which path shall I choose? If I choose to stay in Manila, I might miss the opportunity of experiencing the joys of having a regular and complete family.
—Confused
If you read your letter carefully, your mind and heart have already chosen the right path for you! I believe you sent your letter just so someone would give you that final nudge to make up your mind.
Staying in Manila and holding on to your well-paying job is all good and dandy. You’re able to afford the pleasures a young woman enjoys, besides making good use of the education you prepared for. But to put your confusion to rest, think—does your job and the money you earn hug you tight at night, as your husband would be wont to do? You’re already 30 and clearly, the countdown of your biological clock has started to tick louder and louder in your subconscious.
Accepting those four demotions in your job wouldn’t hurt you so much professionally because you have a history to back you up. They’re all in your resume. Your ability will always catch up and be noticed by your new superiors sooner or later once you’ve settled down.
You may even decide to leave this office job one day and work hand in hand with your husband in his lucrative business. The possibilities are enormous! It’s actually a no-brainer! Go for it!
E-mail [email protected] or [email protected]. Please visit my one-woman painting exhibit, “Landscapes in Oil,” at Chef Jessie’s Rockwell Club in Rockwell, Makati City. It will run until Feb. 7.
