DEAR EMILY,
I am 29, originally from the Visayas and now living in Florida the past seven years. My problem is about my fiancee and my family. She is a Russian mom with three teenage kids. She is also 16 years my senior. We have been together four years now and just got engaged recently.
When I brought her to my province a year ago to meet my family, they treated her well, but their feedback was not that nice. They advised me to leave her. To make matters worse, my mom and my ex-girlfriend are still very close. She was my college sweetheart; we migrated together in the US and were engaged for one year. But things did not work for us.
My relatives hated the fact that my fiancee is older and that her three kids are living with us. They also didn’t like that our cultures are so different. She didn’t eat rice; dressed provocatively, which made her the object of attention; sunbathed topless, etc. They often compared my angelic ex-GF to her.
They cannot understand what made me fall for her. I just told them she’s Catholic, too, and earns her own money as a nurse’s assistant. But they kept saying her beauty will fade when she turns 60.
What remains unsaid is that they don’t know how great my fiancee is in bed. Aside from being pretty, sexy and blonde, she has made my sexual fantasies come true. She gave and did to me every man’s desire, from her friend joining us in bed, to things that you can only see in porn. If my family only knew how dull my ex-GF was in bed.
To be fair also, it’s not all about sex with my fiancee. Mature women know how to take care of their man, and her kids are all great to me, too. I’m not afraid of her beauty fading at 60, because she takes great care of herself.
My only fear is losing my connection with my family. My mother threatened that they will never visit me here in the US and will never communicate with me anymore. It’s been almost a year since I last heard from them. My fiancee is excited that we will get hitched soon, but she’s not aware that my family hates her.
BOY IN LOVE
Hands down, your ex-GF has no chance competing with this fiancee of yours! She’s still basically in kindergarten, a virtual babe in the woods, while you’re already post Ph.D in sex with this Russian!
At 29, you definitely can’t give up this dream-like phenomenon in your life, and no amount of threats from your family can make you quiver in your boots—not while you’re having this awesome run every man only fantasizes about.
Don’t put too much weight on the word “never”—as in never hearing from your mother again? Or never having to communicate with any of them ever? Blood is thicker than water, and hard words spoken in the heat of the moment are often easily forgiven and forgotten. Don’t worry about it.
As for your mother’s warning that your fiancee’s beauty will fade when she reaches 60, of course it will. There’s no avoiding gravity, the sun, “sinful” living, decadent foods, and whatever else contributes to the aging process. That’s a bit far off into the future and cannot be at the front burner of your mind—not when your hormones are still raging.
Follow your instinct, enjoy the moment, and always remember, life is short. Go for it!
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