As a child, Charlie Dizon would look at herself in the mirror and try to cry.

After watching an episode of Star Circle Quest, she’d imagine the feeling of being filmed while on the road or in the house. She would try to bring herself to tears and see if she could sustain that feeling for a while. That, or she would dance.

“Dati kasi, ang lagi kong sagot, magdo-doktor ako, kapag tinatanong na ‘Anong gusto mong maging?’”, she says. “Ang showbiz answer ko ay doctor, pero alam ko na paninindigan ko din ‘yung pagdodoktor kasi parang dead end na usapan sa family namin ‘yung pag-aartista…magdodoktor talaga ako pero in my heart, alam ko na [ang pagiging artista] talaga ‘yung gusto kong gawin.”

Now 25, the dream of being seen on camera and acting out the lives of other people is definitely not lost on her. Coming off a career high as the titular fan girl Jane in 2020’s critically-acclaimed Fan Girl, Charlie has kept her hands busy juggling several projects, including the iWantTFC teleserye My Sunset Girl (first episode came out last July 14) starring opposite Jameson Blake and TFC’s Viral (out later this year) with Joshua Garcia and Jake Cuenca.

Let’s talk about your career as it stands today. You’re busy with projects including a secret reunion project with Paulo Avelino. You’re coming off the high of winning a Best Actress award at MMFF. Is everything going too fast or are you used to going at this pace?

Oo, minsan na-ooverwhelm ako sa schedule talaga. Minsan, gusto ko pa mag-prepare nang mas mahaba for a certain project pero sobrang wala akong karapatan mag-reklamo. Ito ay lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko. Every time na napapagod ako, lagi kong nireremind na ‘Ang kapal ng mukha mo, ba’t ka nagrereklamo?’. Ganoon agad ako, kasi alam ko na ang tagal ko ‘tong hinintay. Alam mo ‘yun, feeling ko noong dumating ‘tong mga ‘to, alam ko na ready ako, gagawin ko lahat. Hindi puwedeng hindi ako ready, kasi ang tagal ko ‘tong inantay and  before kasi parang na-realize ko, siguro hindi ‘to dumadating dati kasi alam ni Lord or alam ng universe na hindi pa ako ready.

Mahina pa ang loob ko noon, masyado akong nagwo-worry noon sa lahat ng gagawin ko and now kasi, noong na-let go ko lahat nang worries na ‘yon. Until now, I still worry a lot pero parang that kind of worries dati, parang let go ko na parang hindi, wala kang choice, sarili mo lang ‘yung dala mo talaga eh.

I feel na ready naman ako sa lahat ng nangyayari and talagang grateful ako sa lahat ng binibigay sa akin. Kasi lagi kong iniisip, ang suwerte ko na gusto ko ‘yung trabaho ko kasi ‘yung iba nagtra-trabaho sila pero hindi sila masaya sa job nila, kailangan lang nila kumita. Lagi kong binabalikan iyan kapag nahihirapan na.

What’s the relationship between your family and your career? Do they interact much?

Noong sinimulan ko ‘to, kinausap ko talaga sila na, ‘pag sa work, work. Ayokong kasama sila. Sabi ko lang, “Nago-office ako, sasama ba kayo sa office?”, “‘Pag doktor ako, lagi ba kayong nasa clinic?”.

Noong una kasi sumasama dad ko, noong Seven Sundays. Tapos ang ayoko noon, hindi dahil binabantayan niya ako. Ayoko ko ‘yung may iniisip pa ako, kasi alam ko na aalalahanin ko pa siya eh. Sa kanya ‘yung focus ko ‘pag ganoon. Hindi ako makaka-focus sa work. Mas gusto kong mag-isa ako sa work. Ever since, hindi ako nagdadala ng P.A., kasi mas gusto ko na sarili kong lang iniisip ko.

Kapag sa projects naman, madalas nangyayari, ako lang eh. Nagugulat na lang sila na may ganoon ako na project. Totoo, kasi ayoko na mahadlangan pa na gustong-gusto ko na project tapos alam kong naniniwala ako na kaya ko ito. Ayoko na ibang inputs muna na negative. Ayoko nang may expectation sila sa akin na parang mas natatakot kasi ako na mafail ko ‘yung expectations. Usually, gagawin ko muna ‘yung project, bago ko sasabihin sa kanila.

Pero sa mga ate ko, very close sa akin, updated sila sa everyday life ko. Lahat sila nakatira na sa ibang bansa, sa US and Canada. Hindi ko na sila kasama talaga pero every night, tatlo silang tumatawag sa akin. Minsan, sabay-sabay pa ganoon.

You’re the youngest out of your siblings.

Oo, ako ang bunso. Updated talaga sila sa mga nangyayari sa akin.  Sila ay very supportive talaga, siguro kung may pagsasabihan man ako na ‘Ate, kinakabahan ako. May ganito akong project.’, mga ate ko ‘yun. Ang parents ko, nagugulat na lang talaga sila.

What did you watch when you were younger?

Mahilig din ako maglaro sa labas. Pero I must say, updated ako sa showbiz noon. Alam ko ‘yung mga nangyayari. Kahit hindi ko ka-age, alam ko ‘yung mga issues nila sa buhay. ‘Yung mga naghiwalay ‘yung ganitong mag-asawa, updated ako. So, iba din talaga ang interest ko sa showbiz.

Naalala ko nanunuod talaga ako ng The Buzz noon, inaabangan ko talaga. O, kung sino ‘yung mga ib-blind item ni Cristy Fermin.

Sa mga TV Shows, mahilig talaga ako sa teleserye. Siguro, hindi ko madalas mapanood ay movies. Kasi bihira akong payagan mag-mall ng mommy ko.

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When you trace Charlie’s career so far, the result is a map that brings together seemingly disparate worlds. Her career began as a commercial model, before landing a role on the big screen as a supporting character in Finally Found Someone in 2017. She made her television debut as the headstrong Marikit in ABS-CBN’s Bagani the same year.

More recently, she landed a lead role as the younger Teddie Salazar in Four Sisters Before the Wedding. It was during this time that Charlie’s acting chops started to take shape, thanks to the likes of Seven Sundays director Cathy Garcia-Molino, who taught her the basics of acting on screen.

Yet it was during her time with Antoinette Jadaone, Paulo Avelino, and the rest of the crew of Fan Girl did she not only find the opportunity to run the breadth of emotions she practiced in front of the mirror as a kid but also cement a place in the industry she loves.

It is easy to say that the path she’s leading with her career so far is providential, but underneath the glamour is a history of grit and hard work. The story of how she was casted in Fan Girl comes straight from the storybooks; she wasn’t the first choice to play the titular fan girl. With the first choice backing out just before production started, open auditions were held. Charlie bested 600 others in the audition and was offered the role on the spot by Jadaone herself.

“Naalala ko pa after ng audition, tawa ako nang tawa, kasi hiyang-hiya ako sa ginawa ko noon parang ganoon. Ako na mismo nag-cut sa sarili ko, sabi ko ‘Yuck, Direk nakakahiya to.’ Iyon pa la ‘yung winning key. ‘Yun pa la ang gusto nila,” she says with a laugh.

How do you prepare for your roles?

Lagi naman na with every project, I see to it na mahihimay ko ‘yung script talaga… hinihimay  ko kung saan ko mahuhugutan ‘yung ganitong part. Tapos, kung saan ako rerelate. Halimbawa, dynamics with another character. I see to it na nahimay ko ang buong script and if I have questions, talagang tinatanong ko sa director.

You mentioned ‘paghihimay’; what does that look like?

Usually naman, may ibibigay na character background or kung ano ang dynamics mo with other characters. Pag naghihimay ako ng script, I see to it na ino-own ko ‘yung character. Halimbawa, ‘yung binigay lang na description, college siya o ‘di kaya working siya, ganitong age siya, usually ganoon lang yung description.

Pero ako, ginagawa ko, sinisimulan ko talaga simula bata, simula noong pinanganak siya. Mayroon akong mga imagined circumstances para doon ko mabuo  ‘yung character. Kapag ginagawa ko ‘yung imagined circumstances na related din sa character, nare-relate ko din sa personal life ko, so mas nagiging akin ‘yung character. Parang ganoon ang paghimay and kapag binabasa ko ‘yung script na nakikita ko ‘yung lines. Lagi kong tinatanong ‘Bakit ito ‘yung sinagot ko?’, ‘Bakit ito ‘yung gagawin ko sa next?’. Para malinaw talaga ang flow and malinaw sa akin ‘yung journey ng character ko.

Where did you pick this practice up?

Sa Fan Girl ako nagkaroon ng acting coach. Ang daming niyang tinuro sa akin na framework, kung ano ang dapat kong isipin. Kapag halimbawa, may show ako, like may character na ako na kailangan i-portray, and ang daming kong natutunan sa sarili ko.

Feeling ko, and pinaka-importante talaga ay self-awareness. Kapag ‘di mo kilala mo kilala ang sarili mo, ‘di mo alam saan ka huhugot para sa ganitong eksena or sitwasyon. Sa self-awareness, dapat alam mo saan ka naiinis, nagagalit, or saan ka nalulungkot. Kapag andyan ka na, medyo nasa first step ka na ang madaling umarte, parang ganoon. Parang mapapadali na lang ang mga bagay.

Looking at your previous work, you’ve been in such diverse, challenging roles.

Sa Fan Girl, dati hindi ko naiintidihan ‘yung sinasabi nila na ‘Grabe ‘yung range mo’. I mean, bago pa kasi siya ipalabas, naririnig-rinig ko na napanood na nang management. Tapos iniisip ko talaga, ano ba? Anong range? Hindi ko alam ‘yung range at all.  Nagawa ko pala ang iba-ibang emotions siguro: bawat tawa, kilig, iyak, galit.

Sobrang blessed ko lang talaga sa Fan Girl. Napakita ko na may ganoong din pala sa akin, kasi hindi ko rin alam eh. Nadiscover na ang dami ko pa lang magagawa na parang ganoon and binigla nila ako doon. Na-challenge talaga ako na parang ‘yung kinapitan ko na lang talaga ‘yung pride ko na kaya ko. Tapos, ‘yung tatapusin ko to nang maganda kasi akin ‘to. ‘Yun na lang ‘yung iniisip ko noon. Grateful ako na na-experience ko siya. Hindi ko na alam kung makakakuha pa ako ng ganoong klaseng project ulit.

Do you see yourself working as an actress for good? Like 10 years from now, 20 years from now?

Oo. Hindi ko alam kung anong ibang trabahong gagawin ko kung hindi umarte. Gusto kong ma-experience na ako ay mag-aadvice sa younger generation. Kasi gusto kong mag-give back sa mga taong nag-aadvice sa akin talaga, sa times na, hanggang ngayon, ‘pag may times na nahihirapan ako. Halimbawa ko si Ms. Iza Calzado, si Paulo Avelino, mga naka-trabaho ko na ibang ‘yung concern sa akin.

Alam ko na kaya ko din gawin ‘yun sa mga younger generation. Gusto ko din tumulong sa kanila. Noong kailan lang kasi, nagwo-workshop kami, iba-iba ‘yung mga experiences namin, mayroong mga wala pa talagang experience, may mga naka-arte na talaga. Noong naririnig ko ‘yung mga hugot nila na hindi nila alam kung anong gagawin nila, kinakabahan sila. Hindi nila alam kung paano umarte. Doon ako iyak na iyak, kasi ganoong ganoon ako noong nagsisimula.

Iyak ako nang iyak, na parang ‘I know how you feel.’ Gusto kong sabihin na halika, mag-turuan tayo. Gusto ko talaga sabihin, “Halika, tuturo ko lahat nang alam ko ngayon.” Kasi gets na gets ko talaga kung gaano kahirap sa feeling ‘yon. ‘Yung hindi mo alam kanino ka hihingi ng tulong. Kaya gusto kong ganoon din mangyari sa akin kapag naging veteran ako.

In between her role as the classic teleserye female lead in My Sunset Girl’s Ciara to Fan Girl’s Jane coming of age in real-time, Charlie’s artistic practice comes off like a shape-shifter, assuming the form of the character she plays with much ease.

But there’s something about an artist who finds inspiration within herself each time she takes on something new, as if to say that there is a part of her, the real Charlie Dizon, present in each role she plays.

She reunites with Paulo Avelino and Antoinette Jadaone on a music video for musician Zack Tabudlo’s Hindi Ko Kaya, playing a young woman preparing to meet her ex-boyfriend (Paulo Avelino) in a bar gig. Jadaone yet again makes the most out of her acting prowess; the seconds dedicated to her glassy eyes gazing directly into the camera feels like an eternity. It’s like you’re staring directly into her soul.

It’s at these moments where cinema comes to life and takes you by surprise. In her five years as an actress, she’s managed to explore the gamut of character roles befitting her age. This isn’t a star who’s made her big break, but an artist slowly breaking out of her mold, taking the steps into what I can imagine is a blossoming career. I truly believe that the Charlie we know now is poised to blossom into a fine actress for the years to come. The Charlie we see now isn’t even her final form.