Why I think traditional Filipino courtship is problematic
I was taught at an early age that a real dalagang Pilipina knows the importance of playing hard to get. Courtship should only be done at home, after the guy asks for my parents’ permission. He should show me he is worthy by showering me with flowers and gifts. And if I start developing feelings for him, I shouldn’t tell him right away. I should prolong the courtship to see how much effort he would give, because apparently that’s how I would know if he’d be a good husband. I should only commit to him after months have passed, when I know who he truly is, because saying yes to him right away would deem me an easy girl. And God forbid that happens.
I don’t know why I ever believed that that was the right way of things. For one, I don’t even intend to marry. But most of all, instilling in me the necessity of playing hard to get taught me that going after the things I want (and in this case, a guy) is okay, just as long as I do it in a pace that looks alright in the eyes of society. Apparently, I should still embody Maria Clara in this day and age. Did they not know that she got raped and then died? What a load of crap.
