Veda Bañez Alonso takes a while to answer when asked if she had raised her three sons as a hippie.

 

“Maybe I was a hippie, yeah… but one who did not necessarily smoke grass,” she says.

 

“But the peace and love thing…,” adds Altair, her second son.

 

“Peace and love, yes, very much,” she agrees.

 

“The mindset,” Ralion, the eldest, butts in.

 

“And the optimism… I just realized my own brothers were so serious with life, uptight about things,” she continues, “I might as well live differently.”

 

We are in Balkan, a restaurant in Makati’s Legaspi Village that serves Yugoslavian cuisine—a place, Veda says, which her sons discovered recently.

 

“Would you like some wine?” she asks them.

 

“See, she’s the one offering us to drink,” quips Mako, the youngest. “Even our names are very hippie. Ralion means Ra, the Sun god, and lion, the king of the jungle. Altair is the brightest star in the constellation Aquila. And my name is a shark. So parang land, sea and air, may themes. Those ideas came from my dad.”

 

In the next few hours, mother and sons would delight us with stories that gave insights on how Veda, a former ballet dancer and model, influenced her sons to pursue careers in the arts.

 

She recalls being sickly as a child afflicted with asthma. An uncle suggested that she be enrolled in dance and swimming classes. “I found out that dance was a nice thing to do, especially when you’re an only girl in the family. I found dancing a good outlet. It became my world,” she says.

 

After spending elementary and high school in St. Theresa’s College, Veda took up Mass Communications at the University of the Philippines (UP) in Diliman and joined the UP Concert Chorus where she met Chinggoy Gil Alonso.

 

At age 21, she married Chinggoy, the stage actor and singer with whom she shared her interest in the arts. The union lasted until 12 years ago, although she remains friends with him.

 

How difficult was it to raise three boys?

 

“No effort at all,” she says. “I was with the Manila Metropolitan Theater when Ralion was a kid, so that was his playground. When the two younger boys came, I was in dance theater. We had house help to take care of them, but basically they were good boys.”

 

Gargoyles on the roof

 

Ralion, 38, started acting onstage with his dad when he was 10. “I used to go up those gargoyles on the roof of the Met,” he recounts. After taking up Masscom in the University of Santo Tomas (UST) and then shifting to Music in UP, he became a professional dancer, actor, singer and TV host. He just finished a seven-year stint with Hong Kong Disneyland as a vocalist for the Golden Mickey Show, which features excerpts from Disney movies.

 

Altair, 28, studied Multimedia Arts at De La Salle College of St. Benilde. Although he has yet to finish his course, he has been practicing it as a freelance producer of videos for events, aside from regularly appearing as an actor for Atlantis Productions. He shared the stage recently with Ralion in “The Full Monty.”

 

Mako, 26, took up Communications Technology Management in Ateneo De Manila University, but acted as well in the school’s Blue Repertory theater group. He has also recently shared the stage with Altair in “Alladin,” “Rivalry” and “Piaf.” And, like his mother, Mako likewise works as a choreographer and does voice recordings.

 

Did Veda secretly wish that all of them would become artists?

 

“Maybe. Yeah. But it’s not only because of performing, but I wanted them to understand themselves more. I think artistry is not just about developing the personality, not just a craft but a soul-searching that you go through early on.”

 

Veda admits going through that phase in her youth. “My family was not really into the arts. My mom is a lawyer, my dad is an engineer. I was also spoiled, I could do what I wanted although I was not allowed to go out at night. But with my boys it was so natural… What’s really fun is when we talk to each other, we have the same wavelength. Like when we talk about movies or books or shows.”

 

Her eyes light up when recalling the days when they’d watch a film and then go to Tia Maria’s, drink margarita and discuss the film. “It’s nice ’cause they each have their own insights,” she says.

 

Altair describes her mother as “sosyal. Everyone is her friend and everyone loves her. She never gets angry at home, tampo lang. She was very liberal when we were growing up. Siya ’yong tipong, you learn your lesson kasi nagkamali ka. Sige uminom ka, pero ’pag nalasing ka nang husto, your fault. She let us learn about life through experience, and I respect her for that.”

 

Mako adds, “When we decided to do theater, she asked us the mandatory question, whether we were sure of our decision… But she went all-out to support us.”

 

Since her sons have grown to be their own persons, even if their work is but a reflection of her artistic passion, we ask Veda what she has learned from them.

 

“Ralion disciplines me,” she says. “He teaches me how to budget my expenses.”

 

Ralion: “And how to manage your life.”

 

Attitude on life

 

Laughter erupts, Veda’s chuckle the loudest.

 

“With Altair, I learned to appreciate his attitude on life,” she says. “He’s very open to ideas.”

 

As for Mako, she continues, “I like his passion for doing things. When he gets into something, all the way din ’yan. Everything that they do is a learning experience for me. I’m the one growing up now.”

 

The boys, in turn, reflect on the greatest lessons they got from mom.

 

Ralion: “The social skills, how to interact with people, how to have a nice disposition in life, a lot about dance, how to put up a show. Emotionally, how to be a more conscientious, more loving, better person. Sometimes when I get very analytical and get so obsessed with something, she tells me to take it easy and take time to smell the roses. So she brings out my human side.”

 

Altair: “My mom and I think the most parallel. People gravitate to me even when I’m suplado. Parang ang dami kong best friends. I learned how to be a giving person, to smile more and appreciate the small things, sit back and enjoy the food that I’m eating.”

 

Mako: “Mom taught me that I can be anything that I want, make anything happen, because there are times when I don’t believe in myself so much. Among the three of us, I believe I act the most like her, kumbaga iimbitahin ko ’yong buong barangay. I like being with people and being happy with life. Artists have to be generous, give everything for a performance to be believable.”

 

Veda makes faces, seemingly embarrassed and proud at the same time. “I have this motto that keeps me going,” she says. “It’s to live simply so others may simply live. That’s why we’re content, somehow… not pushing too much or too high, just having enough leeway so we can be the best of what we are.”

 

When Ralion was 14, Veda recalls, he got to perform with Irene Cara at the Met. “Right after the show, he told me, ‘Mom, I really like this so much. I knew then that, heto na ’yong kanyang joy, to dance, because he felt his natural high.”

 

Altair: “It’s an addiction.”

 

Veda: “It’s a pleasant addiction.”

 

Altair: “Like the feeling when you’re bowing to the audience after a play.”

 

Veda says that, even today, she spoils all three sons.

 

How?

 

“Whatever pleases them. There comes a point when they say, ‘Mommy, enough’… I’m very fortunate to have them. They keep my world going,” she says.

 

Is there any rivalry among the boys?

 

One after the other, Ralion, Altair and Mako exclaim: “I’m the best!”