Dear Emily,

I’m a 19-year-old college student, and I’m in a relationship with a 39-year-old man who is single and has never been married. He’s been my boyfriend for over a year now. We have a great relationship, but I am being judged.

I am accused of being a “sugar baby” or gold digger, while they call my boyfriend a pervert. The age gap is fairly wide but I don’t depend on him financially. We have a real loving relationship. I am a working student with a part-time job to support myself and my family. Although he is a professional with a substantial income, I don’t ask him for money. I’m glad that my father has accepted my relationship, but my mother has not. She thinks I should find someone closer to my age. She has even accused me of not being a virgin anymore. I know I am.

My boyfriend respects me and said we’ll only have sex after we’re married. Another reason is, my boyfriend is a Protestant. My mother is a devout Catholic and thinks that Protestants are heretics.

I know I shouldn’t care what people think about me and my boyfriend, but it bothers me that my mother hates him. What am I going to do? Does age really matter in today’s society?

TEEN IN LOVE

If you can vote, you’re of legal age. However, your mother has a mind-set of her own, and it’s natural for her to worry about your emotional maturity, especially when you’re embarking on something as serious as marriage.

Give yourself time if you want to avert all these seemingly unnecessary problems. What’s your hurry? Is there a fire you have to put out? What’s the rush in wanting to be tied down to the first man who courts you? Grow up a bit more and prove your maturity to your parents and all those who badmouth you. There is nothing like walking your talk.

Don’t fight with the people who love you. Your friends and family have only your best interests in mind. You’re just 19, for heaven’s sake! Don’t you want to discover what life is all about some more, and enjoy what it’s like to have the freedom and exciting opportunities accessible to a single, educated woman?

That’s the only way to find out if this man you’re so devoted to is really the Mr. Right for you. You’ll never know if you’ve never met anyone else or done anything without him. Go out. Live life first-hand. Meet more people. Life for you hasn’t even begun!

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