Dear Emily,

I’m a 32-year-old man who has been married for two years now. My wife and I have no children yet. She is 24 years old and was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Her mood swings are so abrupt that one minute she is sweet and gentle, and the next she’s suddenly angry and violent. Sometimes she cries and screams for no particular reason.

I thought she’s just a moody person. I was asleep one night and was awakened when I saw her standing in front of me holding a knife. I thought she was going to kill me and I was scared to death. Later, she calmed down and apologized.

The next day she got so angry when I wore a brown T-shirt she didn’t like, and started slapping me across the face very hard and even bit my arm. I brought her to a psychiatrist, who confirmed her bipolar disorder.

I want to help her, but it’s going to be hard as bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. She is now taking medications and her family is helping me buy them because they are very expensive. But I’m afraid she might become more violent later on.

I love her, and I admit there are times when I want to leave her. How can I save my wife and my marriage? How can I get rid of this fear that I have?

FRIGHTENED HUSBAND

Living with someone you married and promised to love till death do you part, but whose affliction is fraying your relationship, such that you’re now even thinking of leaving her as you’ve turned into a frightened husband… Were you so enamored when you were courting her that you never saw her unusual behavior then?

You have to show utmost patience with her from hereon. Keep on touching base with doctors who are specialists in this field. They will keep you updated with the latest regimen for this disorder. You cannot deal with her alone without their help, and you’ll need a lot of hand-holding from them to bear it.

There is not much you can do, really, but just to continue loving her and giving her the widest berth humanly possible.

What is it they said about the cards we’ve each been dealt with? That “destiny plays its cards in a way that no one can comprehend. And that God deals us all different hands. How we play them is up to us.”

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