Fellas, listen up. From now on, your role model should be a cucumber—for the hardness of your manhood, that is.

According to the recent Ideal Sex Survey conducted in Asia by Harris Interactive Asia, it doesn’t matter how “talented” you are in bed. If you can’t get it up—and hard—you’re not getting any lovin’ tonight (or any other night, for that matter).

The survey was carried out in 10 countries across Asia, including, for the first time, the Philippines. A captive online sample size of 250, both men and women ages 31 to 74, were asked to anonymously answer the survey here in the country. Across Asia, around 3,000 responded to the survey.

Maintaining and hardness of erection topped the list as key factors in achieving great sex, followed by orgasm intensity, duration, and frequency of sex.

Apparently, “It’s not quantity that counts, but quality,” says Australian sex therapist Dr. Rosie King, who recently visited Manila for a two-day speaking engagement with Pfizer Inc.

So, where does the cucumber come in?

It’s a visual representation of how hard and rigid one’s penis should be when having an erection, which is an Erection Hardness Score 4-meaning, no erectile dysfunction (ED), and completely hard and rigid.

EHS 3, mild ED, is a banana (penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard); EHS 2, moderate ED, a peeled banana (penis is hard but not enough for penetration); and EHS 1, severe ED, tofu (penis is larger, but not hard). The chart’s visuals vary, depending on the country. The aforementioned representation is from Taiwan; in Israel, they use a wilting flower to depict a lower EHS.

ED is “usually associated with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, coronary and cardiovascular diseases,” says King. “The dysfunction is not because of age, but the illnesses that come with age.”

It could also be due to emotional trauma, says King, who gave as an example her 22-year-old patient in Australia with ED. His problem stemmed from being too body-conscious, because of a deformity in his chest. “He could get an erection as long as he kept his clothes on,” recounts King.

And it’s not just the men who are affected by ED. Women with partners who have EHS 4 also have better self-esteem, and are more sexually satisfied, says King.

As important to men

“Gaining and maintaining an erection is as important to men as it is to women,” she adds. The survey revealed that frequency of sex is also affected by ED, even those with EHS 3.

The best thing to do when experiencing ED? “Don’t self-medicate. Treatment for ED starts with going to your doctor,” King says. “In the Philippines, only 1/3 of men and women discuss ED with their doctor.”

Of course, King also recommends Viagra, which, contrary to popular belief, is safe for those with heart disease.

“As long as he is fit enough to walk 1 km on a flat surface in 15 minutes, can climb up two flights of stairs in 10 seconds, and isn’t taking any nitrates (a contraindication), he can take Viagra,” says King.

And, of course, a healthier lifestyle is definitely key in keeping one’s cucumber in shape.